whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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