i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize