It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize