Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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