Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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