i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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