are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS