mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.