question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything