Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.