I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?