Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize