That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
