try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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