If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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