Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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