i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
