He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.