Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
