Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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  (512): my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college?? http://tfl.nu/kvis
  Replies (62) Good night (3833) Bad night (517)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  bl l w

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.

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  (908): bl l w (201): this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel. http://tfl.nu/4an5
  Replies (63) Good night (8477) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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  (914): threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student http://tfl.nu/czt4
  Replies (24) Good night (4991) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.

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  (806): You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you. http://tfl.nu/w13u
  Replies (48) Good night (2248) Bad night (3255)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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  (214): Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand. http://tfl.nu/s680
  Replies (13) Good night (1229) Bad night (4538)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

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  (716): Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public. http://tfl.nu/lwyj
  Replies (16) Good night (1486) Bad night (3624)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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  (907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8
  Replies (8) Good night (2539) Bad night (934)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.

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  (404): I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around. http://tfl.nu/j7r2
  Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.

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  (778): He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight. http://tfl.nu/e9s1
  Replies (6) Good night (1176) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.

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  (910): Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee. http://tfl.nu/pw4k
  Replies (12) Good night (1940) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.

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  (416): okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food. (647): Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40. http://tfl.nu/dr99
  Replies (6) Good night (919) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.

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  (309): Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks. http://tfl.nu/tka4
  Replies (11) Good night (676) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie

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  (706): I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie http://tfl.nu/t5j0
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed

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  (704): it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed http://tfl.nu/73fn
  Replies (1) Good night (272) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?

  (561): View more from Florida

  Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.

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  (954): Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do? (561): Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one. http://tfl.nu/ehu8
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (232)

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