We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
