that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
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Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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