How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night