the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize