Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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