Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

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(216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif

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(313): View more from Michigan

So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?

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(313): So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life? http://tfl.nu/8qm6

Replies (37) Good night (4859) Bad night (1131)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.

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(612): Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad. http://tfl.nu/1l88

Replies (14) Good night (716) Bad night (3042) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?

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(440): my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that? http://tfl.nu/nj0k

Replies (31) Good night (5411) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...

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(914): I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you... http://tfl.nu/2hf7

Replies (59) Good night (11239) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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(336): This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard. http://tfl.nu/5chf

Replies (36) Good night (5990) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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(662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze

Replies (10) Good night (698) Bad night (3417) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

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(904): He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him. http://tfl.nu/bmxc

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(904): View more from Florida

to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning

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(904): to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning http://tfl.nu/efma

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.

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(860): i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge. http://tfl.nu/tn6n

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(516): View more from New York

He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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(516): He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/8pla

Replies (4) Good night (1933) Bad night (369)
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(949): View more from California

Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

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(949): Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame. http://tfl.nu/sj6o

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

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(808): Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/r6w3

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?

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(808): Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space? http://tfl.nu/h1sf

Replies (12) Good night (1020) Bad night (452)
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(303): View more from Colorado

can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?

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(303): can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself? http://tfl.nu/x2xl

Replies (8) Good night (1130) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt

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