what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.