K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights