I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want her autograph on my taint
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt