Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
whose ass print is on the piano?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper