There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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