okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
