you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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