We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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