Already got asked if we're dating
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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