I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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