If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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