bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
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I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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