dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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