I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
