Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
