just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??