We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.