Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn