He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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