Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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