were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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