I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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