I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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