i barfeds in our rink
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
