I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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