Im at strip club and am horny
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
