I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just threw up on my dentist
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.