he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not