so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(