Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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