Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize