He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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