Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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