even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize