I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
