look no pants
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
