i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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