btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
