How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
